Links

…we had this bomb go off, and...

I’m working in the Sears hardware department for a year when we have this bomb go off. Man, the shit really hit the fan—whoo—ee. One minute I’m waiting on a woman who is trying to decide which grit of sandpaper to buy, going back and forth between the 120 and 220 and I’m trying to convince her to buy both so she’d start with the 120 and then sand with 220. “That’d make it really smooth,” I say. But, would you believe she doesn’t want to spend the extra 20c a sheet. And she only needed a couple of sheets of each! So, like I said, this bomb goes off and would you know it was just as I thought she’d made a decision. The whole freeking display topples over so there I am on the floor with this middle aged woman under the sandpaper rack and afterwards everything is quiet and then I hear people shouting—I guess this was their first time—but I lay there thinking, “Ah shit, now they’ll want us to clean up all this stuff. Imagine trying to get seven different grits in regular, garnet, emery and wet/dry back into those narrow shelves in the right order? So I pull myself out from under the debris and figure that I’ll make myself scarce otherwise I’ll be working my butt off. I stand up and the woman opens her eyes and says, “So you really think I should take both?” “Yes ma’am,” I say. At the end of the aisle I see Bill who sells power tools and he is holding his head and blood is dripping down over his face.

“Hell of a rough day, uh?” I say.

“Yeah, but we’ve had worse,” he says.

“Want to go out for a beer after work,” I ask.

“Sure, why not,” he answers.